


As the world Crumbles around us.

by Fandora



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, NSFW
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-21 02:00:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3673299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandora/pseuds/Fandora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maxwell Trevelyan has had his heart shredded on more then one occasion, now the world is literally in his hands. Faced with so much, all he asks is for a chance to find a little respite from the chaos, and hes possibly found that in Hawke. With her help, and the help of her Warden Friend the Hero of Ferelden; they might be able to figure out what the Wardens are up to, and Stop them before its too late. </p><p>Max grew up with the Hero of Ferelden... he just doesn't know it yet</p><p>I tried to make this follow as close to the game as possible with a few creative deviations. Its been rattling around in my head for weeks</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the Dance/training session was inspired when i saw the Youtube video  
> Sergei Polunin, Take Me to Church by Hozier  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH8BYfsot4o
> 
> The passion and precision made me think of a rogue. I've always envisioned Rogue training to be half Ballet/half Parkour

Elissa Cousland and Maxwell Trevelyan had known each other since birth, Max was older, by three months, he made sure never to let her forget it. Their mothers were best friends growing up, in fact, Max and Elie had been betrothed to each other since they were 10. 

Their parents vacationed in Denerim together every summer, they had cottages beside each other on the amaranthine coast. It was because of Max that Elie started bard training with him, at the boarding school, they both went too in south reach. To say they were well acquainted was an understatement 

Their romance started to bud around their 15th year. That summer, the shift from best friends too… well more, was easy for them. The opposite sex seemed far less gross than they had in the past. It became a summer of first shy kisses and promises of futures. They had always been each other's best friend, that summer they became inseparable. 

They each found their calling in bard training, the theatrical displays their courts were subjected to, were the envy of even Val Royeaux. The invitations to the grand game arrived at a shocking rate. Individually they were magnificent at what they did. 

Together. They were deadly.

Their talents had them on the fast roads to being spymasters for very influential people.

Some say that's what spurred the attack on the Cousland family, other say it was a coincidence Elissa happened to be in residence that week. Whatever the cause, the effect was crippling.

The Trevelyan’s were devastated by the news of the entire Cousland family, their dear friends being murdered.

Max felt like he had lost part of himself, his other half, they had been each other's first everything. Their wedding had been set for that summer, both of them would be 19, ready to begin their lives together. She was supposed to be his wife, his partner, they were meant to grow old together. She was his rudder without her, he had no direction, no purpose, no future. 

Max floundered in a downward spiral of anger and hate, mad at the world, for putting everything he ever wanted just within reach, only to have it snatched away, in some cruel joke.

Then the blight hit, devastation rolled through the country, like a putrid green tidal wave swathing a path of devastation in its wake. Tales of the Wardens and “The Hero of Ferelden” were being tossed about, but he didn't care. As a third son, second youngest he was allotted much more freedom than his two older brothers. After losing Elissa, his parents turned a blind eye to his escapades. He joined a mercenary band for awhile, then became an Antivan crow traveling all over Thedas. 

The youngest Trevelyan, Aria was just a small child when Max left home. His little sister had an uncanny way of tracking him down, she kept him informed on the news of his family, at the same time easing his mother's mind with the knowledge that he was in fact still alive. 

So, he knew Aria was sent to the Ostwick circle, she wrote him long letters of her studies. He wasn't very good at answering back. In fact, he probably wrote her one letter for every five she wrote, and even then it was usually only a couple sentences, a page at most. 

He kept each one of hers with him, they were a single spider web filament clinging to what was left of his humanity. When things started to go sideways between mages and templars, he took notice, and had already decided to make his way home.

When he received an impassioned letter from Aria, pleading that he return home because she needed his help, he was already on his way.

She had been chosen by the Ostwick circle, to attend the conclave being held by the Divine Justinia, at the temple of sacred ashes. The honor of being selected, to have a voice in such an important matter, was once in a lifetime. However, her parents wouldn't let her go unless someone they trusted went with her.

Everything was fine, until that fated morning. 

Max spent too much time in the tavern the night before in Haven, he slept through breakfast. His sister had already left for the temple, and he needed to find her. 

Rushing around in a panic, being forced to search room by room was getting frustrating. Too many people were converged on the temple, making asking anyone if they had seen her, a moot point. When he heard the panicked cries of the divine, he flung open the door and the rest is... The rest is a blank. 

Varric stopped reading out loud, looking up from his notes. “So have I got that pretty much right, twinkle toes?” 

Max nodded, not looking up at varric as he paced his quarters, like a caged animal. He hated reliving the heartbreak of losing both Elissa and Aria over again. Along with the frustration of not remembering what he saw, on the other side of the fucking door. Varric knew he wouldn't get any more today, softly closing the door behind him, he left the Inquisitor to his thoughts.

The Champion of Kirkwall had arrived a week before. They had a plan to meet up with her Grey Warden contact, the famed Hero of Ferelden. They were just waiting on confirmation of her location before they set out. Hopefully, she could shed some light on what was going on with the wardens. 

Marian Hawke had caught the Inquisitor's eye the moment she entered Skyhold, Varric was none too subtle in his attempts to pair them together. That was made abundantly evident the night before, during a game of wicked grace. This morning she surprised him as he was training in one of the lower unused banquet rooms of Skyhold. 

Leaning against the doorway, she watched in awe, as his lithe form leaped and jumped in intricate steps, each move deadlier than the last. He was only in a pair of tight shorts, bare feet, and no shirt, an untrained eye would only see graceful fluid movements of a very impassioned dancer. Marian, however, saw the calculation behind every move.

Catching a glimpse of her in the doorway, he spun himself, leaping to her side and pulling her into his dance. She was graceful, and it shocked him how quickly she adapted to his movements, her body reading his. 

For a warrior, she was very light on her feet, especially as she was now, out of her armor in simple clothes. 

Varric smiled from the shadows, he had told Hawke where to find Max, maybe he was shoving a little too hard, but after her tangle with Anders and how that turned out, Varric didn't trust her choice in men. 

This… this was how it should be, his two best friends together. Varric had almost given himself away when the Inquisitor tossed her in the air and caught her inches from the floor in a low dip. 

Nothing existed outside the room, they moved fluidly together. Their eyes locked on each other, reading, anticipating every movement. 

Varric turned away just as Hawke pulled Max in for a kiss.

Laying her down on the mats he used for his bizarre routines, Max stretched out beside Hawke, caressing the side of her face brushing the short stray hair from her piercing blue eyes. His voice held a reverent tone “Hi” she smiled up at him, bending a knee as her hands caressed his arm. “Hi back.”

Leaning back he ran his hand through his damp hair, laughing a little “soo ah ya... You caught me in my guilty pleasure.” Her fingers traced his sharp jaw line bringing his eyes back to hers as she spoke “I thought it was beautiful, I can see why you are in such fantastic shape, and I now understand Varric’s nickname for you.” 

Max let his hand rest on her hip, his lips moving against hers as he spoke, capturing them for another kiss, “I like your shape better.”

It's hard to say how long they were like that, his hands caressing her sides, as hers ran over his naked back, lips tasting each other, tongues colliding. 

The clearing of a throat in the doorway, for the second or possibly third time, is what drove them back to reality. Sitting up the Inquisitor acknowledged the runner, who was quickly turning shades of red he had never seen before. “What is it, Jim?” Clearing his throat again, Jim began “Ummm Commander Cullen sent me to look for you, and …and Leliana has information on the Grey Warden.” Imparting his message and duty done, Jim all but turned and ran.

Max stood up offering Marian his hand he pulled her from the floor into his arms in a quick movement, her gasp of surprise was quickly cut off when he pressed his lips to hers. 

Begrudgingly they pulled apart, and he put on his discarded shirt. Offering her his arm, they headed to the war room. 

Leliana raised her eyebrow and smiled when the pair walked in. “Inquisitor, Champion we’ve gotten word to the Hero of Ferelden, and she is on her way here, she will arrive in about two days. She sent word of places for us to investigate, so we can be ready to move when she gets here.”

The keep was a flurry of activity, trying to keep the hero of Ferelden’s arrival under wraps was proving to be harder than they first thought. Max had heard the stories of her; nobleman's daughter conscripted by the Gray Wardens at the start of the fifth blight, one of two survivors at the battle of Ostagar, he had met the other survivor Alistair the King of Ferelden a couple times, but never the hero. 

Right now though his thoughts were drawn to another hero under his roof. The champion of Kirkwall, she had turned his head in a way he thought no longer possible. For the first time in a very long time, he felt … well, that was it he felt something. 

Taking a deep breath, letting the crisp mountain air fill his lungs. Max loved this time of night, everything was calm almost serene, it was easy to forget the world was in peril once again. Skyhold had settled down into sleep, the courtyards were quiet save for the shuffle of a guard or two patrolling. Only at night could you take in the living, breathing entity that was their home, like a mother, Skyhold held them tight in her protective arms.

The guards knew he didn't sleep much, often times they would find him by the commander's office sitting on the wall overlooking the courtyard, Cole liked to join him and they had some insightful talks. If Cullens lamps were still on, he sometimes played chess with his commander, while they had a nightcap. The two had become very good friends in the months of the Inquisition. This time of night there were no demands, no looming needs, he got to just be Maxwell. 

Tonight, Cullen had turned in early. The hero had rescued him from the Tower, and her impending arrival was eating at him, making his headaches worse. 

Cullen had told Max what happened there, and while he couldn't fathom what his friend had endured, he more than understood haunted dreams. 

Tonight with everything, it was just too much for Cullen, the headache was all but was kicking his ass. Dorian had given him a special tea to help, knocking him out in the process. 

Cole was occupied with Solas discussing the amulet he was searching for. 

That left him, surprisingly alone. He heard her approach, the smell of the unique soap she had just bathed with saturated the air around him, a scent over the last week he had begun to associate as hers. 

Marian stood behind him wrapping her arms around his shoulders, leaning into his back, his hands reached up and rubbed hers affectionately. 

In one swift movement, he spun her into his lap. The surprise had her crying out. He managed to silence her with his lips before she could alarm the guards. 

Holding her tight to him, he smiled down at her shocked face “I will never let you fall, Hawke.” She smiled up at him, her hand clinging to his shoulder her voice full of reverence. “I think it's too late, to stop me, Inquisitor.” 

She shifted in his lap so she was straddling him, her legs on the opposite side of the wall, her back to the courtyard below. Max’s hands pulled her shirt from her breeches as he crushed his lips to hers. His fingers running across her skin, hands cupping her ass through her breeches, pulling her against him. 

Marian’s arms were wrapped around his shoulders, her fingers in his hair. The kisses became deeper, longer, feral as the need to be closer consumed them, the resulting frustration of not being able to be any closer physically. 

Lost in each other, their cries and whisper of need filling the night. They were startled when they heard the familiar sound of a throat being cleared. Max knew it was poor Jim again without even looking “you know Jim, I'm beginning to think, you hate me….” 

Jim stammered his reply “I'm so very sorry to interrupt Ser, but ….umm the guards… They asked me to ask you, and well I would feel better too if you and the Champion… Well, if you would continue to undress each other, in the privacy of one of the many rooms Skyhold has to offer. It’s just, we’re worried, you are going to fall off the wall, if you don't mind me adding, Mistress Hawke may not want your entire night patrol to see her, uuuhmmm. For the love of Andraste man you're undressing her!”

Looking down Max realized he had pulled off Marian’s shirt, her breasts were spilling out over the band straining to contain them, added to that they were precariously close to the edge of the wall. Covering her up, he lifted her to her feet, as he swung his legs over so he was standing next to her as he adjusted his clothing. 

Relief washed over the young recruits face when he realized the Inquisitor wasn’t mad. Max wrapped the Champions arm over his like nothing had happened, and head out. 

Turning they proceeded to stroll past the rest of his guards, it seemed like everyone on patrol that night was gathered in the space between Cullen’s quarters and the storage room. Marian giggled “best-protected spot in all of Skyhold. The Commander should sleep well tonight.”

Nodding to the six or seven men standing there, as they walked by, “Gentlemen,” they had the decency to blush and nod back as they replied “Inquisitor, Champion.” 

Max escorted Marian to her door. Leaning in to kiss her goodnight, she shook her head “No way you are getting off that easily.” Grabbing ahold of his shirt, she pulled him into her room.

Pushing him onto her bed, Hawke began undressing him. Laughing he rolled with her pinning, her under him, licking her lips playfully making her laugh with him. 

Looking down at the beautiful woman pressed against him he was reminded of another time he was in a similar position. Shaking his head, to clear it, she caressed the side of his face, His eyes fluttered back open and Marian came back into focus. 

Breaking the tension that suddenly gathered on his face, Marian ran her fingers down his forehead, over his nose, caressing his lips. Max opened his mouth and captured one, sucking it slowly, his eyes bore down into hers. 

He heard the words tumble from his mouth, and wanted to slap himself. “Marian, I don’t think I can do this.” 

She moved against him and ground against his hard cock “Your body tells me you can.” 

He smiled and caressed the side of her face “I want to, Maker I want you. And if all you want is the physical, I will rip your smalls from your body and fuck you, till you can’t walk” 

Pausing as he sat up taking her hand pulling her up with him “But, if… IF you want more... I need to know” 

Falling back on the bed he covered his eyes “Andraste's tits I’m acting like a teenage girl. A beautiful woman wants to have sex with me, and I need to talk about my feelings. For the love of the Maker, what's wrong with me?!? Ignore all that, where were we oh yes right about... here.” Leaning over kissing her neck, biting playfully.

Laughing she pushed him back “Oh no mister, you don't get to drop stuff like that and then go back to making out.”

Pushing him back on the bed, Marian curled up into his side with her head on his chest. 

As she spoke she drew patterns on his shirt outlining muscles anything to keep her hands busy. “Do I want more than just a quick fuck? Sure. Do I expect more? Not really.” Resting her chin on her hand so she could look up at him “We are both realistic people, I can see in your eyes the loss, and hell my last boyfriend blew up the fucking Chantry in Kirkwall.”

Counting things off on her fingers. “Let's see we have Corypheus doing maker knows what. Not even to mention the holes in the fade, Red Templars, Wardens Missing, and probably six other nasty things we don't even know about yet. Just one of those is enough to make someone pause, all of them together doesn't really instill a happily ever after here. But I will say this." She bit his arm as she stalled a little swallowing hard before she continued. "If at the end of all this crap, we are both standing, I could see a future with you.” He smiled and kissed the top of her head, “me too, for the first time in a very long time… me too." The silence was pregnant between them then Max's deep laughter filled the room. "Blew up the Chantry hu?” Hawke made an exploding sound and gesture with her hands nodding as she answered him “yup.” 

Moving on the top of him, he moaned as she ground her center against his still hard cock. Pressing her palms onto his chest she continued “However, we don't have the luxury of a promise of tomorrows, so why let what we could have, should have, would have done be a regret? don't over think this Max just feel.”

He knew she was right, indecision fading from his eyes, need fast replacing it. Pressing his forehead to hers panting “I want you so bad, please baby I need you naked” she straddled his lap and pulled her shirt over her head, releasing her breast band, he moaned as they became free. Sitting up he captured a nipple in his mouth, as he flipped her onto her back. 

Taking her hands in his, he pressed them over her head, kissing her lips he whispered: “keep them over your head.” She whimpered when he made short work of her breeches and smalls. 

Admiring her naked body Max sat back, spreading her thighs, she knew she was wet but she felt embarrassed at how wet. He leaned down and ran a finger through her slit, Marian cried out arching up. Looking up at her with a wicked smile “oh baby this is going to be a lot of fun if you react like that to my simple touch”

Moving off the bed, still between her legs he kneeled on the floor, sliding her ass to the edge placing her legs on his shoulders. 

She felt like she had been struck by lightning, his tongue pressed against her other entrance and ran it slowly up to her clit, sucking on her, holding the sensitive pearl with his teeth.

Softly Max assaulted it with his tongue while it was captured, his fingers slid into her, and he moaned at how she gripped him. 

His fingers fucked her pussy, while his tongue lapped abusing her clit. Drawing slow strong circles around it, as he found the spot with his fingers he needed. He needed her to come at least once before he took her because he didn't know how long he would last. 

His fingers concentrating on one spot inside her, massaging it with his fingers she thought it felt odd at first, then it went from odd to oh fuck! To crying out as she was riding Max’s fingers and face, screaming “Maxwell now please!” He raised over her, discarding the rest of his clothing and slammed home. 

When she looked at him as he started thrusting into her, his eyes held such need, such possession. It scared, excited, and consumed her, making her cling to him. 

Moving with him her hips bucking against him. His head dipped down to bite her ear, “Oh fuck, baby. You feel so good wrapped around me; your velvet channel is caressing my cock. Maker, it’s amazing.” Bringing his lips to hers, she nipped his bottom one, whimpering against them unable to form a coherent thought. “Oh god, Max! So deep. So fucking big. Yes!”

Feeling her clenching around him, his balls were burning with the need to come. He moved faster, her world exploded, thrashing under him screaming his name, clawing at him. Her body caressing him. Finally, he couldn’t hold out anymore, releasing his hold, moaning “Oh Maker, Marian yes, baby take it all” His cock exploded deep inside her, he pumped his seed over and over into her. He had a brief thought about pulling out, but he didn't care. She was his, and he would let the fates decide what happened, he refused to relinquish this feeling.

When he slid out of her, pulling her close to his side, as she cuddled in. Both of them panting, his hands were caressing her body, just as hers were his. 

Lifting her chin to meet his kiss, he was lost once more in her eyes. “Thank you, angel. That was amazing, and I intend to take you many, many more times tonight; turning on his side hooking her leg over his hip, bringing her flush against him. Max captured her lips, his tongue doing to her mouth, what his fingers were doing to her core.

Needing to touch him, taste him, feel him. Her hands caressed his chest as she moaned. Moving her hips against his. His fingers felt incredible; it had been far too long without this.

She could feel herself rising again, gripping his arms as she writhed against his naked body, moving faster. His hardness was pressing against her thigh, and he was panting hard, as she exploded around his hand. 

Laying back on the bed she felt empowered by the way he reacted to her, she pushed Max onto his back, kissing her way down his chest, when she reached the object of her pleasure, he held his breath.

Looking up at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief, Marian softly kissed the tip. 

Letting her lips part, as she slowly worked her way down as far as she could. Tasting herself on him, slowly she drew back up his shaft. Her tongue was caressing his swollen flesh, swirling around under the head pressing into the sensitive skin. 

It took everything Max had, not to thrust his cock into her mouth, forcing her to take more than she could handle. 

She was having a fantastic time, it was like being drunk on the power of his body's reaction to her touch. When he was close, he couldn't take it anymore. Pulling her up to his body, he picked her up and impaled himself in her, letting her ride him. 

His thumb furiously stroking her pearl, as he thrust up inside her. When he felt the first tremors of her release, he let himself go, grabbing her hips, he fucked her hard. 

She fell forward biting his shoulder, as he roared her name, pumping his seed deep into her over and over. Falling forward on top of him, they laid there panting trying to catch their breath. Stroking her back he knew. He knew he needed them both to make it through this. 

Her cheek pressed against his chest, she could hear his heart, as she caressed his arm. 

When she got up, to go to use the bathroom, he was waiting like a hungry predator, ready to pounce when she opened the door. 

Pressing her face first into the wall, as he slid his cock home. Pinning her hands above her head, he claimed her body, taking her hard and fast against the wall. When his fingers found her clit, it had them both tumbling over the edge, screaming their release together. His body was tense, with the need to possess her. 

Hawke lost count how many ways he had her that night, the last taking hours, as they were in more control. Bodies were moving together, whispers of affection and hope. For both of them, this was a moment they would remember in this fledgling relationship. The first time they made love, their bodies, lips all screamed the need for each other. 

When she moaned his name for the last time, he whispered the word “mine.” His arms wrapping around her holding her tight as they slept.


	2. The Hero and The Hawke

He felt like an ass waking her up to leave, but he had meetings with his advisors early and promised Cullen he would spar before breakfast. He didn’t want her to wake up alone and think he snuck out on her. 

Kissing her shoulder lightly, she stirred in her sleep, "Sweetheart, I have to get up. But you have a few more hours before you need to." 

She rolled over and the covers fell away, exposing her perfect breasts to him, moaning he leaned in and kissed each one. His body covering hers. Both of them still naked, she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer. His body responded and he slid into her, both of them gasping as her flesh welcomed his once more. 

Collapsing back on the bed pulling her over top of him, Max kissed her forehead trying to catch his breath. 

They were interrupted by a hesitant knocking at her door, followed by Jim's voice coming through the wood "Inquisitor are you in there..." Max threw his boot at the door laughing, "go away Jim" 

They could hear the young man sigh through the door "Inquisitor, do not make me sic Sister Nightingale on you, they are waiting in the war room, and I can't go off duty till I find you so, Ser I really want to go to bed. Please..." You could hear the smile and the weariness in the young man's voice. 

Marian called out, "tell Leliana, the Inquisitor will be right there, and said you could go to bed." Jim knocked once for confirmation and called back "Thank you, Champion, I'm sure I will see you both again tonight." They could hear him chuckle as he walked away to relay the message. 

Kissing her once more, he was dressed and headed to the door "have lunch with me before your Warden gets here and we can greet her together?" Marian nodded as she shoved him out the door. "Now go, before Jim comes back." 

The morning went by swiftly. Cullen and Max had a crowd watching the two men battle in the sparring ring. 

The Shout rang out from the walls that the Hero of Ferelden's Banner, and small entourage could be seen approaching Skyhold. They were early, perhaps a half hour away. 

Cullen and Maxwell took the opportunity to call it a tie and dash off to wash up and get dressed to greet her. 

Both arriving at the gate beside the girls around the same time, Cullen pushed Max, Max shoved Cullen as they both laughed playfully. 

Cassandra turned to them both "Honestly you're grown assed men, and leaders, I shouldn't have to tell you to behave." Maxx looked at Cullen "OOOOOHHHH you're in trouble …" Cullen at least had the decency to look contrite. Josephine joined them having overheard the conversation, cracked Max upside the head with her clipboard, "oops it slipped" 

His retort was cut short when Hawke left his side to greet the Hero. Maxx and the advisors waited Before they all approached her. Giving the two women time to catch up. Josephine stepped forward to begin introductions and welcome the Hero to Skyhold. 

Max was reaching out his hand to take Marian's when Elissa turned. The Inquisitor's world went hazy and he felt like he was struck. Max visibly stumbled backward, looking down into eyes he had prayed to see again... begged the Maker to see again, offered his soul if he could just have one more day. 

He pointed at her, his voice lost as he backed up. 

Elissa stepped forward to take his hand, but he snatched it away. Like her touch burned, or he feared she would sink demon claws into his wrist, and possess him. 

Her voice snapping him out of his nightmare "Maxwell...Scout… Scout...it's … it really is me, Elli..." She was reaching up to brush the hair behind his ears as they had always done, to make the other focus on only them. 

He brushed her hands away, recognition and anger, twisting his features. 

The Inquisitor turned to Josephine "will you show our guests around, I suddenly don’t feel very social." Without waiting for her reply he turned back to Elissa, and her small group, his eyes ice cold as he looked over her bowing his head "Madame Cousland." With that, he turned heel and left. 

Some hours later, when he didn’t come to dinner; Cullen found him in the dungeon beating the shit out of a sack of sand he hung from the rafters. 

Cullen just leaned against the door, holding a bottle of something Bull had pushed into his hands to bring to the Inquisitor. Bull said he would drag them to their beds later, right now the boss needed a good drunk.

Max looked up, his hair plastered to his face, his shirt long gone, sweat running down his back "I don’t want to fucking talk about it C." 

Cullen held up the bottle, "Good, I'm not here to talk. I'm here to drink." 

The one advantage to Skyhold still needing repair was half the wall to the dungeon was missing. So, they could sit down, and dangle their feet over the jagged abyss. Cullen and Max often sat here when the weight of everything was too much. Something about the lack of bottom was both scary and soothing.

Three shuddering drinks later The Inquisitor's voice wasn’t sad, or mad, or well anything, it just was. 

When he finally spoke to Cullen. "15 years Cullen. 15 years, She was dead. She was supposed to be my wife; then she was just gone, murdered." 

Cullen clapped his friend on the shoulder rubbing it in acknowledgment while Max continued. "Part of me died with her, the day I received word her entire family had been murdered. Part of me wanted to end it right then. I've had nightmares of her death, needing me, and I wasn’t there..." 

Cullen just let his friend rant, he knew all too well the horrors of nightmares. "15 years... in 15 years, she couldn’t let me know, she was alive. I was finally thinking I was ready to move on, maybe even with Hawke." Slurring slightly as he spoke in the loud voice all drunk men seem to have. "I buried her. Well, not her, obviously, but in my family cemetery is a gravestone that reads Elissa Trevelyan beloved wife." 

They sat and drank for a while, every so often Max would rant, and Cullen would just nod. Eventually, The Inquisitors world just went black.

Laying in his bed thinking about what had transpired the night before. He knew it was thanks to Dorian, that he wasn’t feeling like ass this morning. The Mage had made him drink a potion before he passed out. He ached, but he didn’t have a headache, and his stomach was rumbling with hunger. 

Blackwall and Iron bull had shown up, at some point, pulling them away from the ledge. Squinting as he tried to recall the fuzzy events. He vaguely remembered being dragged back to the main hall, where he spotted Hawke and Elissa sitting, and then. What he remembered doing next made him groan. Somehow under his own power, he walked over the two women, and by sheer will alone took Marian’s hand pulling her to him. 

He planted on her, a kiss that had tongues wagging with the Orlesian nobles. Caressing her cheek, leaving her with the words, "come to my rooms later." Thankfully Dorian stepped in before he could make an even bigger ass of himself, shoving him to his apartment doors out of view. 

He managed to avoid Elissa for two days if he saw her, he went the other direction. Unfortunately, he knew they needed to talk, so they could figure out the Warden situation. 

Right now, Maker damn it. Right now, he just didn’t want to talk to her, it hurt too fucking much. 

It was evident to everyone, even the outsiders in Skyhold, that the Inquisitor and the Hero of Ferelden had some kind of past. No one knew how deep, or the details. If Hawke knew she wasn't talking, and it was killing his friends. 

Only Cullen knew who she really was to him, and how deep the wound ran. Well and Varric, but he hadn't put it together yet.

He heard the rumors going around, a few were close. 

His ever romantic Seeker was the closest, and he didn't think she actually believed what she had speculated. She was probably just, fantasizing something, from one of Varric’s novels. 

It was going to happen...It had to happen, they all knew it. Varric was taking bets on their relationship… and who would talk first? 

It finally happened on the Third day, more than likely with a little shove from his friends. 

Thankfully it was in a back room, they often met for cards and gathering together after a long mission. It had become his small group's sanctuary, space where they were just people, no titles.

He foolishly thought that with just his closest friends around, he could do it. He thought they could all play wicked grace, someone would ask, he would just casually point out that he had told Varric all the details.

Once Varric realized who she was, Max could sit back. Letting him tell the story, Max had given him for his book. Max wouldn't actually have to say anything, allowing him to keep his cool...Of course the best-laid plans..

For the most part, he was able to ignore her, talking civilly whenever he had to. The knife in his heart was sharp and twisting, every time he heard her voice, their eyes met or he heard her laugh. He kept telling himself, he was a grown assed man he could do this. Then they all started drinking. 

Max smiled at the irony, the looks she kept giving him, the pleading, she still couldn't hold her tongue when she was drinking. So it was only a matter of time before the pot boiled over. 

She looked at him across the table, her heart constricting because god damn it, she still felt something for him. He was leaning over and laughing, at something Hawke said, something twisted and snapped inside her. 

Elissa knew she had no claim, but he. He once upon a time looked at her that, way. Maybe it was the wine, who knows, but she stood up and threw her cards at him shouting. "Maxwell Benjamin Lucious Trevelyan are you going to ignore me forever, you. You owe me more than that, after our history together." 

You could almost hear the sigh of relief at the table, like thank you, Maker, finally. Everyone put their cards down and sat back, almost afraid to move. 

Cullen stood up, preparing to come to his friend's rescue and keep him from doing something stupid. Max waved him off. He turned to look at her, and she physically flinched, the anger and hatred boiling in his eyes, shocked her. 

The booming sound of his fists striking the table had her jumping back, his voice echoing off the stone walls of the room. "Owe you? Owe you? how about what YOU OWE ME!!!" He took a breath, leaning over the table towards her, making her sit down like a scolded child. 

The cords on his neck straining from the anger and willpower it took not to fly across the table, as he bellowed. "15 fucking years ELLI! 15 years and not a “hey, man I've been betrothed to since I was 10, I’m alive…” I wasn't even worth a fucking letter to you." 

Cassandra and Josephine both gasped openly, their hands covering their mouths in shock. Everyone else was speechless, just gawking.

Varric found his voice first shouting. "Makers balls this is YOUR ELLI!?" Max nodded his eyes still boring into her, his knuckles rapping on the table punctuating each statement. "This. This is MY Ellie, My best friend, My beloved, the holder of my first.” His voice broke with emotion .”My first fucking, everything. My betrothed… My Destroyer." 

Stepping back, he ripped the chain from his neck and threw it at her. The two gold rings spinning on the table, his voice back to calm as he spoke, laughing a little. "I buried you, I mourned you.. and every year, I celebrate what would have been our wedding anniversary.” Looking down at her, his eyes brimmed with tears he refused to shed, blinking them back before he continued. “It's ironic that you would be here this week, of all weeks. Happy 15th." 

With that he excused himself and left. Cullen stood to go after him when Elissa stood up shaking her head "I will do it, we need to talk this out. We can’t go on like this if we’re going to deal with the Wardens." 

Cullen nodded, his firm voice stopping her “He's mad and hurt, but he would never hurt you. I hope you still know that.” She gave the Commander a half smile “I know, he’s a good man, but thank you.”

The moment she left, she could hear Cassandra through the door "Tell us everything you know Dwarf..." 

She didn't bother to knock, she knew the answer if he even granted her one. The fact the door wasn’t barred was a step in the right direction. It meant she didn't have to have this discussion half in the main hall through the door.

He was standing on his balcony with the doors wide open, the wind licking the drapes. He had the railing in a death grip, so tight she feared he would do damage to his hands. 

Walking up beside him, she didn't make the mistake of touching him, she knew better. She just stood there with him, staring out into the frozen mountain range, her hands holding the same railing. 

Somehow it was easier to talk without actually looking at him. She knew nothing she had to say would help, but she somehow had to make him understand.

Her voice soft “I’m Sorry Scout...I, didn't know.” He snorted, and she shook her head “No that's a cop out, I knew you would be hurt. I was selfish, and I should have told you. No matter what, I owed you that much.”

He just stood there holding the railing, head hanging down. 

She still couldn't make herself reach out to him, she was afraid he would pull away, and right now she didn't want that. 

They stood like that for probably only a few minutes, but to Elissa, it felt like hours as they passed. 

When she moved to go he still didn't look at her, but his hand grabbed her wrist, and he started talking, his voice haunted, he was back in that moment. “When they told me… Maker when they told me, I remember the exact moment. I relive it in my nightmares all the time. I was putting the finishing touches on our estate, the one my parents had gifted us as a wedding present. I was fixing it up so I could finally show you when you and your mother came later that month.” 

Elissa went very still, not wanting to disturb him, or make him stop talking.

“It was morning, and the sun was breaking through what would have been our kitchen window, I was sanding the floors because I knew you hated wearing shoes and I didn't want you to get splinters.” 

His hand that was still holding her wrist, was shaking, but he kept going. 

“I heard thundering horses and looked up to see my father riding up the path with my brothers. It, it was like his horse's tail was on fire and I knew. Well, I didn't know, but I knew something had happened. All I heard was Elli and entire family murdered… The rest was just words; they didn't matter.” Her heart was breaking and when he stifled a sob, she couldn't hold back her tears.

“You broke me… I loved you, laid myself bare, and you broke me. I begged every day on my knees till they bleed to Andraste, the Maker anyone... Give you back to me.” He let go of her and ran his fingers through his hair tugging at it, his face upturned to the sky as if he were still making the plea. "I...Maker help me, I buried you just so I would have a place to go mourn you. And now you're standing here, telling me the pain and torture everything was for no reason Like you just forgot?” 

He turned to walk back to his room, she put her hand on his arm, and he spun around facing her, grabbing her by the shoulders as he shouted, shaking her, “I fucking needed you, I let you in. I made you my entire world, and you just LEFT!” 

His hands fell away, and he walked to the decanters on his side table, pouring himself a drink he downed it and poured another. holding it half to his lips he spun around shouting at her “TELL ME WHY DAMN YOU!!” His demand was punctuated by the sound of shattering glass, flinching Elli watched him throw the amber liquid filled glass at the fireplace.

He Startled her so badly, she screamed, then stood there frozen. Mad and losing control, Max cursed under his breath, he needed to leave. 

She ran up to him and got right in his face, holding it in her hands forcing him to look at her. Anger and indignation bubbling up in her, shouting back at him as she shoved at his chest. “Because… because, I was 19, and a fucking amazing Bard, with offers from Kings at my feet. I couldn't take any of them because in 3 months all I was ever going to be was a wife. And if I were really lucky, I could chase at your bootstraps tagging along while you had adventures. That is until you got me with child and then leaving me at home pining for you, wondering if this was the time you never came back. You didn't offer me a life. You offered me a gilded cage on top of a pedestal.” She railed against him. “You had this perfect picture of me in your head, and our lives planned out, you never once! Asked me if that’s what I wanted!”

Max looked stunned, but she was on a roll so he let her keep going. Cassandra and Cullen had come in when she screamed and seemed locked in place. but neither of them acknowledged the interruption and when they realized no one was getting thrown over the balcony they left, but he was sure there were a few noble ears pressed against the door.

Ellie was crying now, but to her credit, she held it together as she continued “We were home for the last time before the wedding, and my mother was talking about how I was finally going to be forced to be a lady… and a Grey Warden in the keep, looking for help with the Blight.  
He was interested in one of my father's young soldiers. I was over the moon a Grey Warden in our keep, the stories he could tell. I remember thinking how envious you would be. ” 

She took a deep shuddering breath wiped her face, her eyes were haunted as she continued as if she saw it all again. “That night we were attacked, and if I hadn't been trained, I would have been dead. They slaughtered everyone; my father was mortally wounded, so he and my mother vowed to stay together until the end. Together they held them off so I could escape with the Grey Warden, promising them that I would join…”

She started pacing as Max stood there listening. “Suddenly I was running for my life with a Grey Warden, hiding from people who wanted my family dead, people my family had trusted. We didn't know for sure who was a threat; I needed to find Fergus. I kept telling myself if I find Fergus and make sure he's safe, then I can return to you.”

She looked at him needing him to say something when he didn't know she kept going “I knew you would have been mad but it would only be a few weeks, a month at the most and you would understand. Then the fight at Ostagar went sideways, and I not only had to hide who I was, but what I was. I still hadn't found Fergus, and now I had a price on my head, I didn't want that danger for you. Weeks turned into months... Months years… and when I first heard your name again, I was told you had become an Antivan Crow, living the dreams we had.” 

She clung to the sleeves of his shirt, her hands fisting the material, she begged him to understand.

“Scout… Don’t you see... please I need you to understand. At first, I … I couldn't tell you and then, so much time had passed I didn't know how to tell you. I knew this day would come, I knew. I've had this conversation in my head 1000 times, whenever I get to this point I've lost everything I had to say.. except this…”

She held his hands, and he let her, she looked up at him pressing her body close to his and said. “It was you, Max, it has always been you, and I'm sorry, I’m so fucking late saying this… but hey. Man, I've been betrothed to since I was 10, I'm alive.” 

He cocked an eyebrow at her, letting her hands go. Turning, he walked out of his rooms. She caught up with him in the middle of the main hall. He knew, if he stayed in that room, he would either strangle her or fuck her and right now, neither was a good option. So he needed people, betting on his friends still “playing cards” waiting for one of them to come out. He headed to the card room. 

The entire group was shocked when he calmly walked in and poured himself a drink. Elissa came in slamming the door behind her. “Didn't you hear me? What are you doing?” 

Max Blinked, looking up at her innocently “Oh I heard you perfectly.. you let me think you were dead for 15 years, go through hell, because you were afraid marriage to me, wouldn't be an adventure. As for what am I doing.. I'm walking away Ellie … you should recognize the action.” 

Defeated she sunk down on the bench next to Cassandra, looking lost she turned back to Max begging “please come with me, let's talk this out.” 

Max walked over to her, taking her hand and pulling her into his chest. He tucked her hair behind her ears and tilted her head up towards him with one hand, holding her hands together against his heart, with the other. She closed her eyes as if expecting a kiss. 

They fluttered open when he started talking. “Pup, I have loved you my entire life, your death destroyed part of me. Your spirit has held me in the fade, with it for so long. Had the tables been turned, I would have brought down the golden city myself to get to you. Kidnapped you, done whatever, to make sure that you didn't suffer a second more, thinking I was dead.” 

Letting his words sink in before, he continued. “Now, when the fate of the world, possibly hangs on us being able to work together. You stand before me, asking me to tell you, it's ok, and I forgive you…”

He had used her childhood nickname, her heart was simultaneously soaring and breaking, at what it could mean. His voice like a familiar caress, he continued “So Pup, hear me and understand. It’s ok… and I do forgive you.” He wasn't sure if her sob or Cassandra's was louder. 

He let go of her hands, caressing her cheek, wiping a tear with his thumb. 

He leaned in and kissed her forehead like you would a little sister or daughter. 

When he took a step back, she looked confused. Opening her mouth to speak his words cut her off “However, I will never forget, and I will never give you the opportunity to hurt me again.” 

Calling goodnight to everyone, waving as he turned to walk away. His eyes Locked on Hawkes, and she almost imperceptibly nodded at him, before he disappeared through the doorway.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest with you, I haven't chosen yet. 
> 
> I'm sure it needs editing, and I will get there, at the moment it reads fine to me. So grammar police, Deep breath... Relax...and feel free to P.M. me with an offer to Edit


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